A New Beginning
A year ago, I would have never thought I'd be where I am today. I had my whole life planned out and nothing was going to change it. Well, that's not how life works and to be honest, I'm glad. I used to talk about the future and I planned out the next 5 years of my life, but recently I realized that you can't plan out your life because anything could happen at anytime. I'm not saying that you can't have hopes and dreams, but it's more exciting to have that element of suprise.
Last summer I planned on attending a local private college in the fall for Early Childhood Education. Despite the costly tuition, I was so set on going there to further my education. The only downfall was that I wouldn't be able to live on campus. I figured I could just live at home, I mean I had my family and my boyfriend, what more do I need? I realized I need a lot more than that. I love my family and my boyfriend so much, but I needed that sense of independence and friends too. I decided to attend my community college for my freshman year to save money and to figure out my life. It wasn't that bad of a year, but it definitely was hard to make friends because everyone comes to school then leaves and goes on with their day. There really wasn't time to make friends.
During my spring semester something inside me felt empty and I couldn't put my finger on it until it hit me one night. Because I didn't meet very many people at school, I felt so alone. I missed all of my close friends that went off to school. I felt like I was in a dark hole. I didn't know what I wanted in life. I felt confused. I would call my boyfriend and talk to him about the way I was feeling, but it started to backfire. He was more than willing to listen, but ultimately I needed to talk to my parents. I told my mom how I was feeling, from the anxiety to the loneliness, and she suggested that I go talk to a Psychologist. That was the best decision I could have ever made. My mom has always told me that if you're ever feeling depressed or alone, to NEVER keep it bottled up inside you. That's probably the worst thing anyone could do. I remember being so nervous when I went to my school Psychologist, but she gave me great advice and literally sat there and listened to me ramble on about my feelings. From that point on I started seeing the "light at the end of the tunnel." I now take something to relieve me from my anxiety, and I'm not afraid to let people know that. It has helped me out greatly, but ultimately I've helped MYSELF. It hasn't been easy, but I learned that if you want to start feeling happy again, you have to keep yourself busy and push yourself to see friends, or go out whether you want to or not. Things WILL get better in time.
After going through that phase in my life I realized that living at home while going to college is not the best thing for me to do. I need to surround myself with people and I think I need a change in my life right now. That's why I decided to leave my comfort zone and go to off to school this fall :) I was very nervous in the beginning, but now I'm so excited to start this new chapter in my life!
I never thought I'd be sharing something this personal but I know I'm not alone, and there are plenty of people out there that feel the way I felt. For those that do feel alone or depressed, if I have any advice for you, it is to ALWAYS seek help or talk to someone about those feelings your having. Keeping them to yourself will only make matters worse...and just know that you're not the only person feeling like this.
*I want to thank my family and my boyfriend for listening to me and giving me advice during that confusing time in my life. I love you guys for it :)
Last summer I planned on attending a local private college in the fall for Early Childhood Education. Despite the costly tuition, I was so set on going there to further my education. The only downfall was that I wouldn't be able to live on campus. I figured I could just live at home, I mean I had my family and my boyfriend, what more do I need? I realized I need a lot more than that. I love my family and my boyfriend so much, but I needed that sense of independence and friends too. I decided to attend my community college for my freshman year to save money and to figure out my life. It wasn't that bad of a year, but it definitely was hard to make friends because everyone comes to school then leaves and goes on with their day. There really wasn't time to make friends.
During my spring semester something inside me felt empty and I couldn't put my finger on it until it hit me one night. Because I didn't meet very many people at school, I felt so alone. I missed all of my close friends that went off to school. I felt like I was in a dark hole. I didn't know what I wanted in life. I felt confused. I would call my boyfriend and talk to him about the way I was feeling, but it started to backfire. He was more than willing to listen, but ultimately I needed to talk to my parents. I told my mom how I was feeling, from the anxiety to the loneliness, and she suggested that I go talk to a Psychologist. That was the best decision I could have ever made. My mom has always told me that if you're ever feeling depressed or alone, to NEVER keep it bottled up inside you. That's probably the worst thing anyone could do. I remember being so nervous when I went to my school Psychologist, but she gave me great advice and literally sat there and listened to me ramble on about my feelings. From that point on I started seeing the "light at the end of the tunnel." I now take something to relieve me from my anxiety, and I'm not afraid to let people know that. It has helped me out greatly, but ultimately I've helped MYSELF. It hasn't been easy, but I learned that if you want to start feeling happy again, you have to keep yourself busy and push yourself to see friends, or go out whether you want to or not. Things WILL get better in time.
After going through that phase in my life I realized that living at home while going to college is not the best thing for me to do. I need to surround myself with people and I think I need a change in my life right now. That's why I decided to leave my comfort zone and go to off to school this fall :) I was very nervous in the beginning, but now I'm so excited to start this new chapter in my life!
I never thought I'd be sharing something this personal but I know I'm not alone, and there are plenty of people out there that feel the way I felt. For those that do feel alone or depressed, if I have any advice for you, it is to ALWAYS seek help or talk to someone about those feelings your having. Keeping them to yourself will only make matters worse...and just know that you're not the only person feeling like this.
*I want to thank my family and my boyfriend for listening to me and giving me advice during that confusing time in my life. I love you guys for it :)
You are very brave to be so honest about your struggles. I think that you serve as an inspiration for others who may share similiar feelings in their own lives. When I first went off to college I was so scared and unsure of myself. Leaving my comfort zone was definitely one of the hardest things I had ever had to face. It turned out to be one of the greatest experiences of my life and I am so grateful that I did not let my fears control my life. Wishing you all of the best as you move into this exciting new chapter of your life. Enjoy every moment- cherish the good and learn from the bad. I know that your mom and dad must be so proud of you. Heather Rule
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