Looking Up
Welp, it's been almost two weeks since my babe left and I'm finally back into my routine again. Took long enough! Not going to lie, I think I cried on a daily basis up until a few days ago. Gosh that was so rough saying goodbye! I never imagined it being that hard. Thank God for my family and friends. I don't know what I'd do without them. Actually, scratch that. I do know...I'd probably still be crying my eyes out sulking in my own misery. So glad that's not the case though! (ha) Anyway I've done a lot in the past two weeks. I've been keeping super busy with school and hanging out with my friends. I kind of feel bad for them because I'm always wanting to hang out, but I truly enjoy being with them and it keeps my mind occupied. They're the best!
I also started going to a psychologist. Too much information? That maybe so but I'm really proud of myself for going to her. Reason why I'm even seeing her is because I need advice on how to be less anxious. I'm 20 years old and any college student would agree with me when I say that I am the most stressed I've ever been! Junior year of college is by far the toughest. Luckily I'm more than halfway through the semester but that's besides the point. Getting back to seeing a psychologist...I've blogged a little about how I've dealt with some depression in the last couple years and I take medicine for it, so I have to share this saying my psychologist told me. It honestly is one of the most eye-opening sentence of words I've ever heard. I was talking with her about how I feel like a failure for being on a medication. That it's kind of like a 'bandaid' if you will. But she told me the most amazing thing..."Being on medication is not a false sense of happiness, but that depression is a false sense of sadness." Ta and Da. I mean talk about words of wisdom. I remember staring at her after she said that and thinking...damn...she is good! I must say I have a whole new way of thinking now. She gave me some great advice for how to eliminate anxiety, which seems to be working. :) I know it's not something that will just go away when I want it to, but it's something that is manageable. I've learned so much about myself in regards to my anxiety, and I've come so far in the past year. It really is amazing.
Another thing I've been doing is trying to have a better relationship with God. I'm a Catholic girl, but I rarely go to church. I do pray all of the time though but I've always felt a little distant from God. A day or two after my boyfriend left, I had my mom come visit me at school, and she gave me wonderful advice. She told me that God always listens when you need him. That he can make miracles happen, but that I need to open myself up to him and talk to him more. For the next few days, I kid you not, I found myself on my knees kneeling next to my bed, holding my hands together praying. When I say praying I mean, crying and talking to God about what I need from him, and he listened. It was kind of weird being so vulnerable in those moments, but also very relieving. I felt like he had my back and I do believe he has helped guide me to find balance and happiness in my life right now. :)
Wow I feel like I just told the world things that most people wouldn't dare to say out loud. You know like really personal things that so many people understand and feel, but are too afraid to talk about. I guess that's why I'm here. To be that one person that somebody can relate to. That one person that reassures another that they are not alone in this big world.
"Nothing in life
that's worth having
comes easy."
I also started going to a psychologist. Too much information? That maybe so but I'm really proud of myself for going to her. Reason why I'm even seeing her is because I need advice on how to be less anxious. I'm 20 years old and any college student would agree with me when I say that I am the most stressed I've ever been! Junior year of college is by far the toughest. Luckily I'm more than halfway through the semester but that's besides the point. Getting back to seeing a psychologist...I've blogged a little about how I've dealt with some depression in the last couple years and I take medicine for it, so I have to share this saying my psychologist told me. It honestly is one of the most eye-opening sentence of words I've ever heard. I was talking with her about how I feel like a failure for being on a medication. That it's kind of like a 'bandaid' if you will. But she told me the most amazing thing..."Being on medication is not a false sense of happiness, but that depression is a false sense of sadness." Ta and Da. I mean talk about words of wisdom. I remember staring at her after she said that and thinking...damn...she is good! I must say I have a whole new way of thinking now. She gave me some great advice for how to eliminate anxiety, which seems to be working. :) I know it's not something that will just go away when I want it to, but it's something that is manageable. I've learned so much about myself in regards to my anxiety, and I've come so far in the past year. It really is amazing.
Another thing I've been doing is trying to have a better relationship with God. I'm a Catholic girl, but I rarely go to church. I do pray all of the time though but I've always felt a little distant from God. A day or two after my boyfriend left, I had my mom come visit me at school, and she gave me wonderful advice. She told me that God always listens when you need him. That he can make miracles happen, but that I need to open myself up to him and talk to him more. For the next few days, I kid you not, I found myself on my knees kneeling next to my bed, holding my hands together praying. When I say praying I mean, crying and talking to God about what I need from him, and he listened. It was kind of weird being so vulnerable in those moments, but also very relieving. I felt like he had my back and I do believe he has helped guide me to find balance and happiness in my life right now. :)
Wow I feel like I just told the world things that most people wouldn't dare to say out loud. You know like really personal things that so many people understand and feel, but are too afraid to talk about. I guess that's why I'm here. To be that one person that somebody can relate to. That one person that reassures another that they are not alone in this big world.
"Nothing in life
that's worth having
comes easy."
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